


Memories of Dust

by Nebbles



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Tenderness, prompt is passing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-11-23 19:41:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20895056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebbles/pseuds/Nebbles
Summary: On the anniversary of Lonato's death, Ashe is finally able to find comfort in the arms of the one he wants to protect the most.





	Memories of Dust

Even in its haphazard state, bricks strewn about the floor, Ashe still found the cathedral beautiful. Something soothed him - perhaps it was the idea that he was not alone, even in the still of night. That he was alive, and made it back after five years. It was a shame to see it destroyed, and even with the efforts to rebuild it, a soft breeze still blew its way through the empty halls. 

These same halls comforted him much after Lonato’s death, after all. They offered no answers to his endless questions, but at least he could pretend he felt better after praying that his spirit was resting well.

Why did Lonato have to die? He still doesn’t know. And does he want to? Were those answers he was prepared to hear? 

Ashe still is unsure, even after all this time. He’s aired this question time and time again. 

It’s easier with someone by his side. Ignatz’s warm hand on his shoulder helped to offer some comforts - however, it’s not enough to fully keep his thoughts at bay.

“What if I die a fool’s death?” Ashe looked up at the night sky. “Even good, honest people like Lonato were able to fooled. He thought he was fighting for the right thing. What I follow my path, only to pass on like he did?”

It wasn’t often he doubted himself like this, but with every year that passed, the anniversary of Lonato’s death just always made him wonder. Was he doing the right thing?

“Can I really be a knight if I question myself like this?” He felt Ignatz’s grip on his shoulder tighten. “I want to leave this world a better place than I found it. But I doubt my actions, or if I fall… can I really do anything?”

“You can.” Ignatz gently reminded him, moving to brush his fingers across Ashe’s cheek. “We’re all fighting this war for Fodlan to see a better future, aren’t we? That includes you.”

Ashe knows, more than anything, he could have never saved Lonato back then. And he’s still worried he lacks the power to protect those dear to him. Even if these doubts only cropped up once a year, they’re enough to weigh heavily on his heart. And he wasn’t immune to questioning his goals, either. Good people were dying in this war against the Empire, and it was hard to remember what justice felt like when innocent families were buried.

“Lonato would be proud of you.” Ashe hated that he was unable to hold back any tears at this statement. It wasn’t unfair to cry in front of Ignatz like this - he didn’t deserve to see him at his lowest moments. “You’re fighting for your own idea of justice, right?”

Defending the Kingdom was the right thing to do for sure - that, he was unshakably sure of. And in knowing Lonato harbored suspicions against the church, was it right to defend that in tandem? Surely he wouldn’t be judged for protecting those who needed it, but it tore at his heart to think he was going against Lonato’s wishes. Those wishes and ideals were his own - as his son, he was obligated to carry them into the future.

While he doesn’t know what to think of the archbishop - he’d hardly interacted with her, he couldn’t give fair judgment - he does know the Knights of Seiros were good people. He wanted to protect them, as with the few former Eagles that joined the fight against the Empire. They were all individual facets of the war - he could not judge them all in the same way. In being a knight, he knew it would be fair to weigh a person’s value with their actions. 

That’s what Lonato taught him, anyway.

Just as all of the Empire surely wasn’t evil, the same could be said of the church. He wanted to tell himself this, but doubt still clawed at his mind.

“And what if I’m wrong?” He finally asked. “I’d fail as a knight.”

“I know you aren’t.” Ignatz rested his hand against Ashe’s cheek, a gentle smile on his face. “I have faith in you, Ashe. I believe you are following the right path.”

“Even if I’m doubting myself like this?” He wondered if Lonato ever felt this way.

“You’re talking to someone who still doubts himself.” He looked at Ashe a little sadly, trying to keep a reassuring smile on his face. “That doesn’t change how much faith I hold for you.”

He’s able to manage a weak chuckle, nestling into his touch. “I admire how much confidence you have in me, Ignatz.”

“I’m only so confident because you’re my by side.” He placed a kiss on Ashe’s forehead. “I’m able to be brave because of you. That is the effect you have on others, you know.”

Ignatz always knew what to say, somehow. A bit of the pain in his heart was able to ease under the comforting touch of his love. Being able to help Ignatz be confident in himself was definitely something to be happy about - he deserved it more than anything. And at least if he could do that, he’s doing something right, wasn’t he? In his lowest moments as well, when Lonato’s death hurt more than anything, Ignatz stayed by his side.

“No matter what, Lonato would be proud of you.” Ignatz paused in his words to leave a gentle kiss on his lips. “And I am too, Ashe. I promise.”

The smile he gave Ignatz was wobbly and tear-stained, but it was there nonetheless. 

“Until the pain passes, I will do whatever I can to help you.” It may never truly leave him, as things like this tend to be. “I am by your side, my love.”

“Thank you.” Ashe rested his forehead against Ignatz’s, thinking that he’ll continue to search for answers. He’ll seek out knighthood on his own merits, Ignatz by his side, Lonato watching over them both. 

For their sake, and for all of Fodlan’s, he had to stay strong. 


End file.
